pumpkins and painful memories

October reminds me of you.

It was the first time we really kissed,

and it was the last time I would kiss anyone else for a while. 

I've been listening to September by Earth, Wind & Fire

over and over again. (Even thought its October.)

Because September was better.

And these memories,

they weren't constantly on my mind.

I didn't get that that heart wrenching stomach pain right in the middle of my ribcage.

I didn't miss your repetitive compliments that made me uncomfortable.

I didn't miss forcing you to listen to a great song.

I didn't miss fighting with you. 

I didn't miss the way your voice sounded on the phone late at night, when you would call to apologize.

The feelings are inevitable,

and I don't know if its the leaves changing,

or the way my minds racing.

They say theres nothing like your first love.

Who the hell are "they"?

I don't know.

But as much as I hate to admit it, I think "they"might be right.

And maybe October is for the lovers,

or maybe its for the pretenders.

According to Earth Wind & Fire

"love is changing the mind of pretenders."

dammit I know, okay.

I know I'm a pretender.

But I can't help to fill that emptiness.

Because as the leaves fall,

I'm falling too.

And when November comes around,

and the snows starts to fall.

I sure  hope I'm done falling.

Because gravity's toll on me,

It's getting exhausting.

And whatever you do, please...just please,  don't even get me started on December.